First Short Story

Here it is, as promised:
It was a piss-poor Monday in the newly established offices of the Anti-Gang Unit. DCI Alan Turner was showing the new recruits the ropes, and one of them just stuck out like a sore thumb. Castor was the new girl in a swarm of men, all rearing to go. She had caught Alan's eye (even though he was completely against sex in the workplace) but who could miss that lipstick? She had caught him staring at her across the canteen that morning, and had joined him in a bacon sarnie and coffee. Not your typical woman, Jo wasn't concerned with the way she looked, more the way she presented herself to others. She and Alan clicked straight away, plutonically speaking. James Thomas had caught her eye too, but more in the Alpha Male sense. He was a big guy, strong too; Alan would never go against nature and win, would he?
The Commisionner had come along for the ceremony and the blessing from the Station Chaplain. After this he had work to do, and the fact that the whole show was still waiting for one man to appear wasn't helping his temper. Jo looked at Alan and decided that she needed to calm him down. Approaching him carefully, she started by flattering his better side, the reason she was in the unit in the first place.
"So, John, how is everything?"
"Good, you? I hear you made it to DC. I'll have to keep my eye on you." He winked cheesily at her, worrying her deeply. "How do you think Turner will cope with a hot blooded girl like you around the office?"
"He'll be fine, sir. It's Jimmy you should keep an eye on. After Turner's job because he thinks he could do better."
"And you don't?" The question stumped her: did she think Jimmy could do better? Or was it John who thought Jimmy would do better? Would Alan ever be the man to back?

This is just the start, needs a little work, but how was that for you? If you have any problems, let me know at the email address on my profile. Thanks
x
PS: if anyone knows where I can find a better list of Brit Police Ranks I'd be v. greatful!!